My father-in-law said he thought jigsaws were a waste of time.
Whenever we invited him to join in the family fun, he would pick up a random piece, ram it into the nearest available space ignoring any attempt to match colour or shape, and exclaim loudly and with satisfaction “Oh ...nearly!”
Therapy seems a bit like a jigsaw puzzle to me at times too. All the pieces of someone’s life are thrown up in the air, and the work in hand is about putting them back together to fit and create a new picture of life for that person.
Sometimes we get a “nearly” fit with the right shape but wrong colours; sometimes the colours are right but the shape doesn’t quite make it.
Sometimes the “nearly” piece stays in place for a while until other pieces start to fall into place and the picture can be re-arranged again.
And sometimes, the pieces of the puzzle are still littered around when the client leaves the therapy or coaching process. We don’t always see the final picture.
That can be really difficult at times – not seeing that beautiful final picture.
But that’s the client’s work.
That’s part of the work about accepting the process and “what is”. That re-arranging might happen within the process or afterwards.
But the important thing about the process for the client is seeing the final picture for themselves and starting the long process towards it.
It might be a 500-piece jigsaw. Or 1,000-piece. Or even 5,000-piece. And anything in between.
Our role as therapist or coach is to be part of building that final picture even when we don’t see it.
Can you be a picture-builder with all the “nearly” pieces? Can you accept your part in the process without seeing the final picture? Can you trust the client to realise the picture they want?
The number of pieces don’t matter. The final picture matters to the client.
My father-in-law usually felt very satisfied that he was contributing to the jigsaw building at his own level and when all was re-arranged, his delight at the final outcome was just as great as ours.
The process matters to the therapist/coach.
The “nearly” piece is just as an important part of that process as any other piece.
