The problem with change is that it is a constant in our lives and it takes time to adjust.

And big change takes a big amount of time.

A close friend of mine struggled significantly with depression at the beginning of lockdown and received a very significant amount of medical, psychological and personal help & support.

Thankfully, she is now coming out the other side of that experience and process, but not without difficulty and a lot of painful experiences to process.

There’s also a lot of learning about managing change; a deepening sense of self-awareness; and a sense of finding new ways of working.

I use meditation and journaling to help support my own personal process, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t “lose the plot” on occasions.

Like everyone else, I struggle when my usual means of security are stripped away from me in one great rush.

Whether your experience of the change process is in the shape of a cycle, circle or curve, there are recognised stages within the process.

Assessing where I am within that process is an important part of the learning for myself.  What about you?

How do you respond to the client who refuses to change?

What is your answer to a client who cannot or will not tolerate anything other than exactly the same work, situation, environment etc as before change was thrust upon them?

A neighbour of mine has some mobility problems which seem insoluble right now. 
She wants to get back to driving her car. 
In order to do that, she has to be able to walk properly & easily again. 
In order to do that, she has to get some new, specialist shoes that support her damaged feet.

But she doesn’t like those shoes.  She finds them uncomfortable.  She will not wear them.  She won’t pay the enhanced price for them.

And the therapist in me says she won’t recognise that things have changed for her in relation to her mobility, health and requirements.

So the change process for my neighbour is currently frozen at this one point.

If she were my client, I would be using a lot of supervision time here.

But she’s not my client, she is my neighbour.

So I get frustrated with her. 
I sometimes find myself being abrupt with her.
I walk away and feel I am leaving her to her “victim” mentality.

But whether I am therapist or neighbour, I cannot help her move forwards literally or figuratively until and unless she chooses to.

And that is difficult at any time.

What would you do?