Recently I find myself coming back repeatedly to the process of grief.  And after all, death is a big part of life, so I make no apologies for returning to the subject.

So can any grief process be described as “good”?

It’s painful.  There is great loss involved whether it’s through death, life-changing injuries, a diagnosis of terminal illness or any other life-changing trauma, or life event.

Grieving is the process we go through as we work through the huge change that engulfs us in a moment of time.

And it certainly fills a lot of time in therapy rooms.

I’ve read quite a few news articles recently about different ways people manage their own grieving process.  Someone sent texts & messages to her daughter‘s phone in a process of letting out her emotions around her death.  And a new mother wrote letters for her own mother after the birth of her baby.

Of course, nothing will ever be the same again after we experience a death or significant loss of any kind.

And the process may be intolerable, overwhelming beyond belief, and all-consuming at times.

But finding a life for ourselves after a death or loss is possible.

Difficult.  But possible.

Like me, you may have known those who put their own lives on hold after a significant death or loss, by pledging not to move on until they find the answer, or the person who did it, or the right justice, or the reason, or the one to blame.

Perhaps you are even in that place yourself.

It may be a defence, a protection, a means of self-punishment, an expression of rage and anger, a distraction from emotions too difficult to deal with.

But it’s not a life.

And it certainly is not good grief.

The process of moving on is not about ignoring the events, but it’s about both acknowledging and holding the  emotions of those events and rebuilding life.

And whilst that still doesn’t turn bad into good, it does enable us to find a life for ourselves after death.

Have a good life....