I am writing this Blog against a background of a continuation of the heatwave throughout most of the UK; football and tennis finals; the incredible rescue of the young football team from a Thai cave; a visit from the US President; and the usual kerfuffle over Brexit.
So you would think there’s a wealth of topics to write about.
But I’m not sure what to say....
I know...you’re wondering quite how that can be?!
Well...what would it feel like for you to be congruent with a client and actually express those words “I’m don’t know what to say.”?
Because there are undoubtedly times when we really don’t know what to say in response to a client.
How many times do we cover that up with some empty words, or general small talk?

So what does it feel like to sit with “what is” and the “not knowing”?

I once worked with a therapist who allowed a lot of silence in the sessions.  Some of that I was OK with, and some of it I wasn’t.  I can remember saying frequently “please say something”...only to hear the response, “what do you want me to say?....”

It was certainly effective in increasing the frustration with myself, the process and my inner turmoil at the time, but most importantly in ultimately progressing the deep therapeutic work I was engaged in.

Sometimes it’s appropriate to leave silence and allow room for thought and reflection.

And sometimes it’s ok to use a just a few words, as long as it doesn’t avoid the difficult issues or divert the focus away from the inner work.

And sometimes we need to be congruent and acknowledge that we have no words or are not quite sure what to say at that moment.

And if we are bold enough to stay with those moments, and trust the process, then the work will evolve both for the client and for the therapist or coach.

Saying nothing can be as important as saying something.

Acknowledging the emptiness is as important as acknowledging the overflowing of words and emotions.

Perhaps I did have something to say after all.....