It’s OK to be not OK

Berne’s concept of “I’m OK, You’re OK” is very familiar to many of us, along with the variations within that.

I’m Ok, You’re not OK
I’m not OK, You’re not OK
I’m not OK, You’re OK

It’s a concept particularly connected with TA (Transactional Analysis).  And each element is often a part of the therapeutic process, and the roles we play in everyday life.

But what about the therapists?

There will always be debate as to whether therapy is based around the “I’m OK, You’re not OK” principle and coaching is more “I’m OK, You’re OK”.

But what happens when the therapist or coach is disclosing “I’m not OK” whether the client is OK or not ?

Well – it’s OK to be not OK.

Even as a therapist or coach, there are times when we are definitely “not OK”.

Life happens.

There are times when life events overtake even us.  And it may be that with appropriate support we can continue our clinical work on occasions.  There are other times when we need to acknowledge that we are “not OK” at a much deeper level and take time out.

If we do not take that appropriate time out, we are not working ethically with clients.  And we are certainly not supporting our own healing process.

Counselling is not, and must never be, a displacement activity for our own experiences of trauma.  It just doesn’t work ethically, personally, emotionally or spiritually.  You are absolutely no use to your clients if you are wrung out emotionally, physically, mentally.

So get with it.  And look after you in the way that you would want your clients to look after themselves.

It’s OK to be not OK.