Expressing emotions is natural for some, and difficult for others. Sometimes it depends on the mottos or injunctions by which we live our lives. Releasing strong emotions in a safe and positive way takes time and is often part of a deep therapeutic process either in self-therapy, co-counselling with a trusted friend or colleague, or with a professional.
Reflect on some of the ways you express emotions in your life…In the heat of the moment with strong emotions at stake, we can all say and do things we later regret. So how can we express our emotions more positively?
In recognising repeating patterns of emotions, a useful exercise is to make a list of other times when you felt the same feelings, and see if there are any common factors – the same people, a similar event, the same room/building etc
If you are experiencing grief, have you ever given yourself permission to find a quiet space and allow the tears to flow? You might want to check that there is someone you can contact or nearby afterwards for support.
Or if it’s anger that you are dealing with, try beating up some old cushions, or writing a “dead” letter – that is one you don’t post – you might want to tear it up after a while when you feel you’ve discharged those feelings more. It’s a safer release than lashing out at someone!
Look through some brochures or magazines and build up your own collage or folder with pictures and cuttings.
Or you might want to try the following exercise with a trusted friend. This is an exercise without words and should be done in silence with no verbal communication:
1. Take a long sheet of paper, or smaller ones that you can stick together;
2. Draw out something of how you feel – you might choose colours or shapes, simply allow whatever comes to mind to flow out on to the paper – or it might be a scene;
3. Remember this is not something that is going to hang in the Tate gallery – this is simply representing how you feel;
4. When you have finished, turn your piece of paper round to face the other person and invite them (silently!) to respond to your picture in some way;
5. This can go backwards and forwards as long as you like – it stops when you feel you have expressed all you need to and feel you have received enough response back;
6. Reflect on the process for yourself – and only then start to share or discuss it – if you want to.
When you are lost for words, don’t forget that there’s more to you than your mind and thoughts and emotions, and you can use your whole being to express yourself creatively and positively.
Try it and see……
