Note to Self......

One of the techniques in gestalt therapy is that of writing a “no send” letter.

Sometimes, it’s referred to as a “dead letter” but that always seems rather stark to me, so I use the term “no send” letter.  It can be a letter to someone still living as much as someone we have lost.  And a note to a part of ourselves as much as to another person.

Obviously, if I am writing a “note to self” it is sent isn’t it as I am both writing it and reading it, but some of the same principles apply, in terms of expressing some of those innermost thoughts and feelings that often go unspoken.

A variation of that gestalt technique, that connects with Inner Child work can be about writing a letter to our younger self in order to heal memories from the past.

That’s always deep work that takes time and needs a trusted mentor, guide, friend or therapist to hold a safe space I would suggest.

But, of course, I am a therapist and sometimes we need to be able to do for ourselves what we enable others to do within that therapeutic process, and what we ask students to do in training.

So...back to my “Note to Self”...

“Dear Self,

I know the year’s been hard.  And lonely.  And sometimes everything has seemed just too much to deal with.  But you’ve made it through the worst bits, and I’m here for you in all those darkest times as well as the times now as you come through into the light.

Remember the beautiful moments too – the joy of new planters in the garden; the joy of your daughter’s new relationship; the warmth of new friends, celebrations and milestone birthdays.  And the joy of being content.

Of course you have fears for the future and no knowledge of what will be.

But I am here to wrap my arms around you with a big, warm hug and be with you through all that is to come.

Talk to me.  Keep me close.  And we can enjoy the future together.

See you again soon.”

Now, it may be as difficult for you to read that as it is for me to write it.  And it may touch some deep points within you, so take time for yourself here, just as I am doing now.

What note to your self would you write today?

And remember to take care in the process, and be gentle with yourself.