Well it sounds better than “Water and Empathy” doesn’t it?!
But, that’s just the point. In most therapy sessions, clients do not get tea.
Having said that, I once worked as a therapist for an organisation where the clients were all offered tea or coffee by the administrator as they booked in for their appointments.
And I did once, as a client, work with a therapist with whom I had a regular session which was his first appointment after lunch. Frequently he would bring his own mug of tea with him, and occasionally one for me as well.
But generally speaking, clients get water.
In over 20 years’ experience, I’ve had both therapists and supervisors where I’ve had to ask for water; I’ve had a jug freely available for me to fill my own glass; and I’ve had one small glass of water provided ready.
As a therapist myself, I always ensured there was both a jug full, and a glass for the client to use as they needed.
It really is a simple thing, but so important, and makes a big impact. I used to get so frustrated with the therapist who provided one small glass of water – I have to admit that I often asked for more just to make a point...there’s the rebel in me again!
But more than water, what about the sympathy/empathy thing?
Sympathy is what we engage with often in everyday conversation with a friend who is relating some event in their life. It’s usually accompanied by our own version of events and experience as well.
Sometimes that is what’s needed, and nothing more.
But empathy is on a different level.
It’s simply not possible to have experienced all the events and situations that clients present with. And even if we have, engaging with that raises the whole issue of personal disclosure.
So what’s important here?
Empathy is about staying with the client’s feelings, whatever they are, and sharing them, being alongside them in those feelings, in order to enable them to express them, understand them and work through them.
It’s not easy.
But it makes a world of difference.
Though you might need a strong cup of tea afterwards!
