The “B” word.

Now of course, I could be talking about bananas.  Or broomsticks.  Or beef bourguignon.

But, if you are in the UK, you will most likely have an instant response to the “B” word right now.  And it’s none of the above.  But I won’t go on about it!

It has got me wondering though on other things that we perhaps are reluctant to mention or discuss within therapy or life generally.

I recently saw an advert under the tag of “The “M” Word,  that ran something like

“Politics.  Religion. Sex. If everything were just so simple.  Let’s talk about Money.”

But there are undoubtedly times in life and within therapy that there are things that are immensely difficult to discuss.  They can easily become “the elephant in the room” so to speak.

In therapy, it’s important to acknowledge, identify and address those elephants....those words whatever the initial letter.

And those words, things, elephants change for individuals and generations.  Politics, religion and sex are still up there with the “unmentionables”, along with death...and money.

So it’s important within therapy to listen for those things the client is not saying.  It’s important to listen to ourselves and recognise in life those things we don’t mention.

I remember once spending a good 20mins or so introducing the story and issues of a new client to my supervisor.  I gave all the relevant information about the client’s family and the issues the client had raised in our first session.

When I had finished my observations, there was a pause.

And then my supervisor leaned forward and asked one single question.

“What about her father?”

Nothing.  There was nothing.  The client had said nothing about her father.  And I had asked nothing.

And, of course, my supervisor, in one short sentence, had identified the “elephant in the room” for my client.  That issue that was unmentionable for the client.  And yet that one issue  became the focus of some very deep, therapeutic work in the months ahead.

So what word are you avoiding in your life right now?
What are you colluding with your clients in avoiding in their own story and process?

And what about the “B” word?

Well.......what about it?!  Enjoy the banana!....